Do they speak English in LITERALLY?

Aren’t you tired of all of the frivolous “LITERALLIES” going around these days? I literally exploded!  My dog is literally the devil!  Are you literally going to eat all that??  Teach these dropouts how to speak proper English without having … Continue reading

Music through your skull Don’t you hate getting run over by construction trucks or getting crushed by falling pianos because you couldn’t hear the warning shouts of onlookers? These “bone conduction technology” earphones allow you to hear the world whilst listening to your … Continue reading

Play soccer indoors with Adidas Samba shoes

Finally, get ready to play indoor soccer! These Classic Adidas Samba Indoor Soccer Shoes will have you breaking vases, knocking over lamps, smashing fish tanks, and pissing off your wife in no time! The adidas Performance Men’s Samba Classic Indoor Soccer … Continue reading

You’ll have to learn kung fu

Yes, you’ll have to learn kung fu to fight off the swarm of ladies when they see you wearing these retro fanny packs that are as stylish as they are functional! Go through the airport security lines with the ease of a well trained … Continue reading

No more cold face

Do you already have plenty of skinny jeans and slip-on loafers? Then you must be ready to rock that hipster look, right? What’s that—you can’t grow a beard and your face gets cold when riding your ironic bike through the city … Continue reading