Fun with road rage

Leave your car at home and make your way through downtown’s maddening maze of one-way mayhem in Men’s Heelys! You’ll look super cool wearing these bad boys as you zoom passed gridlocked cars, maneuver around panhandlers, and jump over the piles of … Continue reading

Crack cocaine with straps

Leave the meth, cocaine, and psychedelics at home! There’s no need when your BACKPACK BRINGS THE PARTY! ARE YOU FUN, EXCITING, ENERGETIC?? A NON-STOP PARTY, THRILL-MAGNETIC, EXUBERANT PERSON?? Weekends are not the only designated days for partying fun. Now you can … Continue reading

Do they speak English in LITERALLY?

Aren’t you tired of all of the frivolous “LITERALLIES” going around these days? I literally exploded!  My dog is literally the devil!  Are you literally going to eat all that??  Teach these dropouts how to speak proper English without having … Continue reading

Let your feet do the talking

You’ve always wanted to let your feet do the talking, and now you can! The “F**k Off” socks by Fenta let you share your feelings without uttering a word. Made of “Sweat absorption and breathable fabric,” they allow you to … Continue reading

Rub away odors with steel

Have you been playing with the garlic lotion again? Need to get that stank off of you? Nothing will remove the nastiness! That’s what you thought until now. Rub-a-Way Bar Stainless Steel Odor Absorber It’s a stainless steel bar of soap … Continue reading

Music through your skull Don’t you hate getting run over by construction trucks or getting crushed by falling pianos because you couldn’t hear the warning shouts of onlookers? These “bone conduction technology” earphones allow you to hear the world whilst listening to your … Continue reading